Life's Lessons

We had a rare experience the other night.  March 17th was our day celebrate Marcus' 6th birthday.  Per our family tradition he got to choose where he wanted to go for his birthday dinner - surprisingly he chose to go to Leatherby's for taco's and ice cream so that's where we headed.  It was a fun filled night - as usual they were squealing with excitement and had a blast eating and playing around.  Alas, it was time to head back home so we all piled into the car headed home.  Everything was very uneventful and just the way I needed it as I had a lot of preparation to do for Marcus' party, that is until we stopped at the red light on 700 East and 90th South.  Not too soon after going through the light after it turned green we realized we were following a drunk driver.  Manny joked about calling dispatch and after he nearly ran into the median and sign going into Wal Mart I told him to call before this guy kills himself or someone else.  While stopped at the light on 7th, a Sandy patrol car turned heading South.  This cop was apparently not going anywhere with purpose so I thought we'd make the call and they would dispatch him, he'd come right away and pull him over and illuminate something horrible happening and we'd be on our way home and plans could carry on as scheduled.

We continued to follow the truck while he swerved in and out of multiple lanes, coming very close to hitting signs/trees etc on the right shoulder before swerving back into his lane, we witnessed him driving into oncoming traffic and swerved out of it in the nick of time.  I kept thinking any minute now a cop car will pull up and take over and I won't worry about him anymore but no one showed.  Still on the phone with dispatch we followed him East on 9400 South.  I don't know if it was the Mother in me or what but I just couldn't turn my back on someone in obvious need.  I kept thinking he's got to be close to home, please let him be close to home before he hurts himself or someone else.  I had my whole family in the car with me celebrating the birth and life of our oldest...how many other families or Mom's and Dad's, children, etc were out on the roads that night.  All I wanted to do was take my babies to the safety of our home and hold them tight but I couldn't bear to think of this ending tragically for some unsuspecting family or multiple families.   We had turned into a neighborhood and followed him a bit on that road and in a flash he gunned the gas, hit a trailer on the side of the road, bounced off the trailer and ran his little pickup truck right into the HOUSE of some poor unsuspecting couple. 

We pulled up in front of the house and I rolled down my window and heard him calling out for help, I told Manny I had to go and check on him to see how bad he was hurt.  Manny warned me and asked me to wait until help came that they were on the way.  He said you don't know what condition he's in or what he's on or what he has on him, that he could hurt me and to just please wait for police and EMS to get here.  I thought about what he said, I looked at our car and that safely held my hold world in it.  I'm a mother first and foremost and I know I have people dependent upon me for things.  But, I heard the scared cries of a stranger and I told Manny it was fine, to listen to him...he's not a threat, he's genuinely scared, to trust me and let me just go down and assess the situation and reassure him help was on the way.  Working with several people on drugs and/or alcohol I've learned that they can be very unpredictable and you have to keep on your toes at all times.  Because I've had patients turn on me on a dime I briefly worried the same might happen here but something inside told me it would be okay and to go out and help him where I could.

I got out of our SUV and climbed down to the truck by the house and started talking to the visibly shaken man in front of me.  I asked him his name and introduced myself and told him that help was on the way.  His name was Curtis and he was 30-my same age.  He was scared and kept saying how much trouble he was going to be in this time and kept asking for help.  There was a significant amount of blood loss that first appeared to be coming from his face but later I realized it was from a pretty gnarly chunk of skin missing on the palm of his right hand.  His truck was running and I asked him to turn it off so we could hear each other better.  He replied there was no key.  I called for my protector and told Manny he needed to come reach in and turn it off with the screwdriver he had.  Manny was still hesitant mostly because our 3 children were with us and you never know what can happen.  I told Curtis that my husband I were there to try and help him and we weren't going to hurt him but we were going to reach in and just turn off his truck so we could hear each other better, he had a dog with him and we made sure the dog wouldn't lunge after us if we reached in the vehicle.  Manny got it turned off and we helped him and his dog out of the truck.  Manny was still on the line with dispatch as I tried to keep him calm and reassure him that help was on the way and everything was going to be ok.  The homeowners got him an old towel and we wrapped his hand up in and had him apply pressure.  The police had arrived at this point and started talking to him.  He was worried about his dog being taken away so I called his brother and let him know what was going on.  He said he'd be right there so I let Curtis know and left him to the care of the police and fire department.

I was all a matter of just minutes and I was back in our car filling out a form for the PD.  William was oblivious but I had a 3 and 6 year old with me that were pretty worked up and scared.  I worried I had done the wrong thing in helping this stranger I had damaged and horrified them.  Then the thought came to me no.  Someone was in need of help.  I was responsible and cautious about the situation and the right thing was to help.  I explained to them that they didn't need to be afraid and we talked about what we had just seen.  We talked to them on their level about drugs and alcohol and how they are harmful to our bodies and how they impair our thinking and ability to do things, we also talked about healthy coping mechanisms among other things.  I realize they are only 3 and 6 but I know kids also understand more than we give them credit for.  I don't condone drunk driving and being irresponsible when drinking but that was no excuse to not step up and help where I could. 

I could see the unsettled state they were still in.  I told them I knew they were young and it may not all make sense to them at this time and I understood they were scared.  I tried to very carefully explain to them that what he did wasn't right and there are better ways we can handle the situation.  BUT, it's not up to us to judge someone or their circumstances. 

I've learned in my life that we are here to help others.  If we cross paths with someone we have the opportunity to help and we are capable of doing so - we should.  Beyond the unsettled feeling they had that night, I hope what I taught my children was if we find ourselves in a position to help someone else even though we ourselves may be scared of what could happen - we should step up and do what we can to help.